I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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