what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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