Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
