the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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