he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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