My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
