so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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