i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
