i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
