Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
