so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
