he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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