we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
