SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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