Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
