If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i now understand why vodka
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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