you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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