I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
