Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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