matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
