I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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