put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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