so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
