Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
