dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize