tell your sister to shave her snatch
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
