omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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Also, beer. Big fan.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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