Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
