Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
