I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
