I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
