you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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