i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
