I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am available for nakedness
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
