She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize