I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
