Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
