i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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