i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
