i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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