I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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