didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
