I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
