I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
