found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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