im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
