Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
