You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
