Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
