if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
