True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I AM VODKA MAN
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My feet surprised me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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