This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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