Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
