I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize