yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
