shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
