just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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