i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.