I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Drake has all the answers
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
