We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.