Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?