Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.