with your own penis?
return my video game
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.