hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
