I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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