wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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