A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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