I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just google imaged poop.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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